Sooner or Later You Will Surrender
by Elajsha
Summary: This is an Avengers College AU Fic. It's New Year's Eve and Tony Stark is finding himself at Natasha's annual party. At the end of the night Tony ends up in the arms of someone he did not expect, and he has to face the consequences. Will night be just like every other New Year's eve? Or will this lead to much more, and take Tony down a road he never expected to go down?
1. Almost everything comes from nothing

**Chapter 1**

**Almost everything comes from nothing**

The room was full of smoke and the smell of alcohol was unmistakable. It was the last night if the year and time for Natasha's New Year's party. She had held a New Year's party for the past 4 years, starting when they were just in high school, and it was slowly becoming a tradition for Tony to arrive, get drunk, and end up on the balcony alone when midnight came along. The party had been in full play when Tony arrived about two hours before midnight, and there was no time to waste if he wanted to get drunk before then. At first sight there were no one in there he knew except for the beautiful Natasha who had taken her usual place at the bar.

"Tony!" She yelled out when she caught a glimpse of him. "I thought you weren't going to show up this year." Tony tried to work his way around all the already drunk people at the party. _Jesus, did she invite the entire city this year? This place is more packed than usual._It wasn't that Tony didn't like people. He did and a lot actually. It just happened that people didn't seem to like him all that much.

"Hey Natasha." He hugged her tight before grabbing a beer from the counter. "No, I just had to finish something before I could leave the house." It was true. He had been working on a better alarm system for his dorm room. The security that the college provided was not nearly enough security for what was in Tony's room. "Anyway, I'm going to hit the balcony." He grabbed another beer as he made his way through the crowd of people. He heard Natasha shouting something at him, but he wasn't sure of what she was saying.

Luckily there weren't as many people outside as inside. The balcony was mostly occupied by couples trying to suck each other's faces off. He finished off the first beer and opened the other just as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Counting on passing out on the balcony again this year?" The question had come from Tony's roommate Clint. He was sure that Clint was spending the New Year with his parent's in Kentucky, so it was a surprise to see him here. Nevertheless, Tony was happy that there were at least two people he knew.

"Jesus Barton. You scared me!"

"Sorry man, I just wanted to make sure that you weren't too drunk already. I saw them opening some vodka and I thought of you."

"That's sweet of you Barton." he rolled his eyes at his roommate. Tony was known for his love of vodka, and vodka was usually the reason why he ended up on the balcony. "I just arrived. This is my second beer, so I'm not even drunk yet. Just go back to Natasha before she sends out a search squad because she can't find you. I'll be just fine out here."

"Alright alright, if you say so man." Clint waved at Tony before returning to the living room. When he got to the door he turned around and looked back at Tony. "Just don't hurt yourself too much this time, okay?" He winked and went back inside to join the heard of drunk people.

At last year's party Tony accidently broke Natasha's glass table by falling on top of it. The memory of that night made Tony laugh a little. He had been trying one impress Natasha's roommate all night. She was a beautiful girl who, as far as Tony had understood, was majoring in something to do with communication. Pepper Potts was her name. He had been trying to get with her all night, and when he finally had her close, he had tripped and fallen on top of the glass table. He didn't remember much after that. Only that Natasha had told him to go to the hospital. However he had refused to do so, and had just opened another bottle of something. That year he ended on the balcony again. This night there was no sign of Pepper. The past year she had been avoiding Tony as much as it was possible. Tony didn't blame her. To be quite honest, he could be somewhat of an ass at times, and last year's party had definitely been one of those times.

Tony looked out over the big city of Los Angeles. Natasha didn't live on campus like the rest of them. Her parents had made sure that she could get a place on her own. The first year of Uni Pepper had moved in with her, and they had been living together ever since. The apartment was located beautifully and you could see so much of Los Angeles from it. Tony got caught in the moment, and before he knew it, half an hour had passed. Tony finished his second beer of the night before he realized something. He needed refreshments.

He made his way back into the living room which seemed to have gotten even more crowded than when he arrived earlier. He bumped into a couple who were basically dry humping each other in the middle of the living room. When he finally made it to the bar he saw Clint disappearing up the stairs with Natasha. "Well, at least he'll be getting a little lucky tonight."Tony said to himself.

"What was that?" some guy behind Tony asked.

"I wasn't talking to you mister." Tony replied a little angrily. He looked at the guy and knew exactly who it was. The guy was tall and looked like the all American boy next door. He was wearing a letterman jacket with the name Rogers written on it. He was one of the guys from the football team. One of the best ones actually.

"Sorry, I just thought you were talking to me." He sounded a little taken back. "I didn't mean to offend you or anything, man." He gave a slight smile as he reached for a beer behind Tony.

"Yeah, don't think too much about it, you'll only hurt yourself." Tony said with a stone face and went for the balcony again with the unopened bottle of vodka he had just acquired. He felt a hand taking a grip of his arm. _What does this man want? _He quickly twisted his arm out of the grab and continued walking to the balcony. Tony wasn't in the mood for talking that night. He just wanted to get drunk and perhaps get a little lucky later on.

When he got to the balcony he could feel the hand on his arm again. This time the grip was tighter, and there was no way he could get himself out of the grip this time. He hated the way Rogers was trying to get a hold of him. Why the hell couldn't he just leave Tony alone?

"Are you following me now Rogers?" He blurted out, and turned around to look the guy in the eyes.

"What? No! I just wanted to talk a bit." The guy smiled at Tony. "How did you know my name?"

"It's on your jacket Brainiac." Tony snapped back. He wasn't really in the mood for talking right now. "Now, could you leave me alone? I don't really need any more testosterone around me."

"What does that even mean?" he looked a little puzzled. He didn't seem to be all that drunk. At least not compared to all the other guys at the party. He stripped himself of the letterman jacket and put it on the chair beside him. Tony couldn't help but stare at him._Damn, this guy looks good. Wait, what am I saying? _Tony shook his head and looked away from Rogers.

"Doesn't matter what it means Rogers; just get away from my line of sight. I'm not in the mood for talking right now."

"Come on man, I just want to talk a little bit. I've haven't really seen you around uni before, how do you know Natasha?"

Of course he hadn't seen him before. The university was enormous, and there wasn't any reason why their paths should have crossed. "That's none of your concern." Tony said before taking a sip of the bottle. He wringed at the taste of the liquid. It was an easy way to get drunk, but he could never get used to the taste. It was pretty vile.

Rogers took a seat next to where Tony was standing. Why wouldn't he just leave him alone? They had nothing to talk about. If they had, they would probably have talked by now. To be honest Tony didn't even follow football. At least not the college kind.

There was a long pause before Steve said anything. "Sorry, I was just wondering."

"If you must know, she and I have been friends since High School." He paused to take another sip. "Plus, her boyfriend is my roommate, so we see enough of each other."

"Ah, so you must be the famous Tony Stark." He said with a tone that sounded more sarcastic than impressed. "I'm Steve, by the way."

"Well, good for you Rogers. Now, could you leave me alone? It's almost midnight and you probably have some chick you can put your mouth on."

Steve looked at Tony before rolling his eyes and shaking his head at him. He reached out and grabbed the bottle from his hands and gulped the liquid down. _Damn this man can drink._

"Hey! Hey Rogers! Don't hurt yourself. Go easy on the vodka." He reached out to get the bottle back from him, but Steve pushed Tony away and took another sip of the bottle. "Okay, suit yourself Rogers." Tony threw his arms in the air, turned around and walked back towards the house.

"Where are you going now?" Steven looked towards him.

"To get another bottle of vodka, Rogers. I'm not drinking of that one now." He pointed at the bottle in Steve's hand. He quickly spotted Natasha and Clint playing beer pong with someone from the football team. _They weren't away for that long. Hmm, maybe he didn't get all that lucky. _Tony looked at his watch. There was still half an hour until midnight, and he hadn't found anyone to kiss when midnight stuck. _Well, better luck next year Stark _he thought to himself. For the first time in years there weren't all that many vodka bottles left at the bar. However, Tony managed to get a hold of something that wasn't raspberry flavored. Vodka might taste bad, but the flavored ones were even worse. A couple of the guys from the football team ran naked through the crowd of people. Tony was sure that one of them was rooming with Steve.

The entire living room was occupied with drunken college students. Most had found someone to share the next couple of minutes with. Tony couldn't help but feeling a little jealous at them. All he wanted was just one kiss small kiss at midnight. And well, perhaps a little something something later on. However, as it looked now, that wasn't going to happen this year either.

Defeated once again he made his way back to the balcony for the thousandth time that night, and there was Steve. Right were Tony had left him. He was starring at the lights of Los Angeles. It was quite a beautiful sight. The view that was. He wasn't thinking about Steve that way. The man had practically attacked him and forced him to speak. Plus, he was into girls, and Steve was definitely not one.

"You like what you see Rogers?" Tony's voice seemed to have startled Steve, because he jumped when he heard him. He looked at Tony before looking back over the railing.

"What are you talking about?"

"The view. Jesus Rogers you really aren't the sharpest tool in the shed." Tony said a little louder than he intended. Steve laughed a bit at his comment, but he just sighed and shook his head.

"It's beautiful, but it's not the most beautiful thing here." As Steve said that, Tony could see a little blush creeping onto Steve's face. He quickly looked away from Tony and back to the view. Tony kept his eyes at Steve. He couldn't help but smile at the bigger man. _He really looks good in that light. No, stop that. _He didn't know why he was thinking these things. It hadn't been that long since he had been with someone. Or has it? Damn, he really needed to get laid soon.

"Oh, so you do have a girl in there somewhere?" Tony didn't wait for Steve to answer. "You should really get her Rogers. It's midnight in like a minute." If Steve had someone why was he out here? And even if he didn't he was the star of the football team. He could probably get anyone in there. Suddenly Tony hear people inside starting to count down. _Oh no, here we go again._

**_Ten_**

**_Nine_**

**_Eight_**

"I don't have a girl in there Tony"

**_Seven_**

**_Six_**

"Oh sorry, a guy then."

**_Five_**

**_Four_**

"I was talking about you Tony"

**_Three_**

"What?"

**_Two_**

**_One_**

Tony didn't get any time to think before Steve shot straight at him and crashed their lips together. Before Tony could get time to think about it he gave into it and returned the kiss. He could taste the vodka on Steve's lips and it made his burn a little. Tony put his hands on Steve's hips and drew him closer so he could feel Steve's heartbeat against his chest. He could feel Steve's hands gripping around his neck as Steve slid his tongue across Tony's lips. When Tony felt the tongue he snapped back into reality and tore away from Steve.

"What the hell was that Rogers?" Tony yelled at him. He didn't know what to do. He had just kissed a guy. No, more than that, he had just kissed the star of the football team. He had no idea what to do with himself, and the worst part was that it wasn't even all that bad. "You know what? Don't even answer that. I'm out of here!" Tony began walking towards the house once again. He could hear Steve yelling something, but he didn't care to listen to what it was. He shot a quick look at Clint and Natasha who were all over each other, and then stormed out of the door. Tony only wished that he had passed out on the balcony again tonight. _Why did I even give into that? I'm not even that drunk. I didn't enjoy it though. Did I?_ Tony was starting to debate against himself. _Of course you enjoyed it Stark. It was, sad as it might sound, the first action you've had in a long time, and to be honest the best you have had in a long time. And that was just the kiss. Oh damn it. I can't even make sense of this anymore. _The only thing Tony wanted to do now was to go home, and not face anything for the next month.

Luckily campus wasn't all that far from where Natasha lived, so the walk home didn't seem all that bad. When he reached home Tony swung the door open, and fell onto the couch, and there he let the darkness take over his body as he fell into a deep sleep and hoped than when he woke, he would realize that it had all just been a dream.

**A/N: Alright so there you have it. This is the first fanfic that I have ever remotely finished (and no, this is not finished yet), and I am quite pleased with the result. Reviews are appriciated and constructive criticism as well. I hope that you enjoyed the first chapter, and I am already working on the next one. This chapter might be a little short, but I'm working on getting the word count up. As you might have guessed this is going to be a Tony/Steve story. **


	2. Just forget it and move on

**A/N: Here you have it. I finally got around to finish the second chapter. It took a little longer than I thought it would because life suddenly got in the way. Like: I got accepted into University, so that took some of my time. Anyway, here it is, and I hope you will enjoy it. We have some new people who are introduced in this one. Oh and by the way, this chapter is seen from Steve's POV. **

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Just forget it and move on**

Steve watched as Tony disappeared in the crowd. "Tony, I'm sorry!" He yelled out, but Tony didn't register anything. He had just kissed another man. No, that wasn't the problem. Not at all. The problem was that he had just kissed the ever so famous Tony Stark. A man who was known to be incredibly annoying and arrogant, but nonetheless he was known as a ladies' man. Tony somehow always found a way to the ladies' heart.

"Fuck!" he cried out, but the sound of fireworks and people singing masked his frustration.

"Something wrong out here Rogers?" A voice came from right behind him. Steve turned around and faced his roommate who was standing on the balcony with him in nothing but a towel.

"What? No, I'm fine."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah, just return to the party Thor. Besides, you look like you were in the middle of something." Steve said noticing a couple of lipstick marks on his roommate's neck.

"As a matter of fact I was. I'll see you later man." Thor replied. He turned to pat Steve on the back, and then he disappeared the same way that Tony had just moments before. Steve was once again left all alone on the big balcony.

He buried his face in his hands, and he could feel tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes. _What's the matter with me? _He tried to blink them away, but that just made them form even faster.

The sky was now filled with fireworks in all the different colors of the rainbow. Steve looked up at them all and he finally let the tears fall down his cheeks. There weren't many, but it was enough for him to feel completely weak. He had never imagined crying over some man, even if that man might have been all Steve had ever wanted.

"I really need to pull myself together." He murmured to himself. He wiped a tear of his cheek when he was once again joined by someone on the balcony. This time it wasn't anyone from the football team. This time it was a woman. He turned to face her, so she could see he had cried. She might be the only person in the world who he would allow himself to show weakness to. His sister.

She sat down next to Steve and instantly drew him into a hug. His sister really was the best comfort he could have wished for at this point. "What's wrong Stevie?" She whispered into his ears.

"I did something really bad." He sniffled pulling away from the hug and brushed a bit of blond hair away from her face. He stared into her big blue eyes before continuing. "Pepper, I kissed him. I kissed Tony." He pressed his face down to rest on her shoulder, but looked up at her again when she didn't say anything. "Please say something." He pleaded.

He eyes widened with shock. Steve could see that she was trying to find the right words to say. She knew Tony a little too well. At last year's party Tony had tried to make a move on Steve's sister, but he ended up falling through a glass table. The story had traveled all around campus, and a month after everyone had heard about it.

"When did you kiss him?"

"Just now, at midnight"

"Where?"

"Out here." Steve looked a little puzzled. "Why is that all so important?"

She shook her head. "That's not what I meant. Did you kiss him on the mouth?"

"Of course I did." He said a little louder that he meant to. "That's what the entire problem is about. God Pepper, why couldn't I just have kept to myself tonight?" It wasn't that much of a question for Pepper, but more for himself.

"I knew he would be here tonight," He continued before she had time to answer. "And I let my imagination get away with me, thinking, no hoping, that he would somehow be okay with the kiss. I feel so stupid. I even pretended that I didn't know him at all before he said his name. I tried to play it cool, I really did, but I failed so miserably. I really just wanted to talk. To get to know him. But then midnight came and the chance was there." Steve felt the tears starting to form again, but this time he didn't hold them back.

"Steve, look at me." She said to him. "There was no way you could know how he would react. Don't blame yourself for his reactions. You did what you felt was right, and you followed your heart. Don't ever think that it's the wrong thing to do." She drew him into a final hug and stood back up. "Come back inside Stevie. Natasha is going out with the rest of the crowd, so we'll have the apartment to ourselves. I'm not letting you walk home alone, so you can take the guest room tonight." She didn't even wait for an answer as she began to walk towards the apartment.

He gave her a smile of gratitude and stood back so he could follow her. He was so thankful to have a sister like Pepper. She had always been there for him, and he was always there for her. They were a little under a year apart in age, and most people who met them thought they were a pair twins.

He followed her up to the room, and immediately went for the bed. He didn't even bother to slide under the comforter. He just turned his head away from the door and closed his eyes. "Goodnight Pepper." He said to her still a little choked up. "And thank you for letting me stay here."

"Anytime Stevie. You want me to stay a bit?" She asked sitting down on the bed beside him. She reached out and stroked his hair. Steve was too tired to even try to push her away. For now, it was an incredibly soothing feeling, and in some way it made him relax more.

"No, I'm fine." He said tiredly. "I just think I need some sleep. I'll be fine tomorrow." He said trying to reassure her. The truth was that he wasn't going to be fine – He knew that – but he didn't want Pepper to worry anymore than she already did. "Just go to bed. You need sleep too."

"Okay. I'll be right down the hall if you need me." She said and left the bed. "Don't hesitate to wake me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay."

Pepper turned off the ceiling light before leaving the room and left Steve alone with his thoughts. He tried to drift off to sleep, but the thoughts of Tony wouldn't let him. He couldn't forget how Tony, at first, gave fully into the kiss, and at that moment Steve had seen stars. However, Tony had broken away from the kiss almost as fast as he had committed to it. At that moment Steve had looked into Tony's eyes and seen the fear. _I really screwed up. What was I even thinking? How could I possibly believe that kissing him would be a good idea? But it was so good. God, it was amazing._

He shook his head and turned in the bed until he found a comfortable position. The bedside lamp was still on, and even though it wasn't much light, it was enough to light the entire room just a bit. There wasn't much in the room beside the bed. The only other things were a dresser with a TV on top, a desk, and a chair. It wasn't actually that different from his dorm room, except for the lack of personal stuff, and a roommate who snored like a bear.

Steve could feel his eyes slowly closing, so he turned the out the last light and closed his eyes. Finally he gave in and let himself drift into a deep sleep.

* * *

The bright golden light from the sun woke Steve up the next morning. He had forgotten to shut the blinds, so the light was shining right into his eyes. As he slowly awoke he noticed the room around him. He blinked a few times with confusion until he realized where he had spent the night. The entire night came back to him, both the good and the bad. He sat up in the bed and buried his face in his hands.

"Please tell me it was all just a dream." He whispered into his hands.

"What?" A voice said from behind Steve. His eyes widened and he turned around to see who was lying in the bed. As far as he could remember, no one was lying in the bed when he fell asleep, and there still hadn't been anyone when he went to the bathroom a couple of hours ago. Steve was surprised to see that he recognized the person who was lying right next to him.

"Clint?" He said surprised.

"Oh hey there Steve." Clint said lazily and turned to face the other way, just to one second later turn back so they were once again facing each other. "Steve?" he sounded genuinely surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I was sleeping." Clint replied.

"No kidding, so was I. But why aren't you sleeping in Natasha's bed?"

Clint looked at Steve as if he was trying to remember something. Then about a minute later his face lit up as if he had figured something out. "Natasha's was kicking me in her sleep, so I went in here. Honestly I didn't know you were here, and I was probably too drunk to notice you anyway. Sorry about that."

"It's fine. I was just a little surprised to see you."

"Why were you sleeping in here?" Clint asked him as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He sat up in the bed and the covers he was lying under. Unlike himself, Clint had taken the time to remove most of his clothes before going to bed. Steve had been too tired, or more like he didn't care, to remove it, and he was still wearing all of his from the night before. Clint caught Steve looking a bit and smirked a bit at him. "Hey Steve? My eyes are up here, man." He said jokingly and pointed from his chest to his eyes.

"Sorry." Steve said. He hadn't meant to stare, but he was shocked to see how fit Clint actually was. "I didn't mean to look."

"It's fine, man. Just don't let it happen again." The tone was friendly and Clint even winked at Steve when he said that. It made Steve a little uncomfortable. _Why are you so uncomfortable now? _He and Clint weren't exactly good friends, but they did see each other from time to time when Steve was visiting Pepper and Clint was here for Natasha. He was happy that Clint hadn't freaked out about the looking. People usually did if they had caught Steve looking at them.

"To answer your question, I didn't feel like going back to campus. So when you guys went out, Pepper offered that I could stay here for the night."

"Alright. I'm going to find something to eat. Want some?"

"No thanks, I'm good."

"Okay." Clint said smiling and went out the door to find something to eat. Steve really liked Clint. There was just something so calm about that man. He really knew how to keep his head cool. Plus, he had never been anything but nice to Steve, so there was really a reason to do anything but like him. In fact, Clint was nice to most people of the he met.

The first time they met Steve had been watching football at Pepper and Natasha's apartment, when suddenly Clint came running down the stairs. He had apparently fallen asleep with Natasha, but when he woke she had been gone. Clint came running down, because he thought she might have been in the kitchen or living room, but she wasn't. She had woken up, and decided to take a walk because she wasn't all that tired anymore, and she knew that just disappearing would mess a bit with Clint's head, and boy was she right. Clint had looked almost scared because he thought something bad had happened to her. Steve really admired how much Clint cared for Natasha, so he quickly explained the situation and Clint had finally calmed down. After that they decided to watch the game together until Natasha came home again.

He could hear someone opening a door somewhere in the hall. That had to be either Pepper or Natasha he thought. The someone quickly ran down the stairs and must apparently have found Clint in the kitchen. "Clint! Get your hands off my yogurt." He heard Natasha yelling from downstairs. _Those two really are a pair _he thought to himself.

He laid down in bed and again he tried to block out the memory of last night. The memory of Tony's soft lips against his own, and the feeling of Tony's arms pulling at Steve's hips. He felt safe at that moment, like nothing in the world could ever bring him down again. But it only lasted the few seconds their lips were locked together. After they broke the kiss, Steve could feel his world fall apart.

There was a loud noise from downstairs that sounded like it came from the kitchen, followed by the noise of someone's feet running up the stairs. Steve barely managed to grasp what was happening before the door to the guest bedroom was flung open and Clint stood in the doorway. They looked at each other for a moment before they could hear another set of feet running up the stairs. Clint just looked at Steve before hiding behind the door. He put his finger in front of his mouth to gesture Steve to keep quiet, just in time, because in came Natasha looking furious.

"He's in here, isn't he?" She yelled at Steve and he could now see what the noise had been, and why she was so pissed. She had yogurt all over her shirt and face. He had to fight to keep from laughing even though the scenario was absolutely hilarious, him laughing would just make everything worse. "That little.. He threw yogurt at me." Clint tensed up when he heard Natasha's voice and was shaking his head at Steve.

As much as Steve wanted to help Clint, he just wanted them out of the room. So without flinching he pointed behind the door and before he knew it Natasha had dragged Clint out of the room. She was yelling something at him, but Steve didn't care to listen to what she was saying. He simply went up, closed the door and lay back in the bed.

He wasn't in the mood to go anywhere. All he wanted to do was lie in bed and pretend like yesterday hadn't happened. How could he have been so stupid? _I must have been out of my mind. Talking to him was all I was going to do. Just talking, getting to know him. Yeah, and how did that work out for you?_

Steve realized that Pepper hadn't woken up from all this yelling and screaming; at least it didn't seem like she had heard any of it. She didn't usually sleep through things like this. The smallest sound could wake Pepper. Steve lifted his body from the bed and walked towards the door to find Pepper. Sleeping or not. He could still hear Natasha and Clint down the hall, but it seemed like they were sorting things out. Steve chuckled to himself, but before he could reach Pepper's room the doorbell rang.

"Steve?" He heard Natasha's voice. "Would you mind getting that? It's probably just someone who forgot their stuff here last night. What? No Clint, you can't have the things if no one claims them. Jesus!"

The doorbell rang once more and Steve hurried down the stairs to open the door. As soon as he opened the door he regretted that he hadn't checked who it was through the peephole beforehand, because before him stood the same man he had kissed just last night. Steve felt like his chest was going to explode when he saw Tony. He felt terrified and incredibly ashamed at the same time.

"Rogers?" Tony said calmly. "Didn't expect to see you here." Steve didn't know how to respond. He was just standing there staring at Tony. Right now he would give anything to have Pepper here. To have someone he could feel safe with.

"Hello?" he snapped his fingers in front of Steve's face. "Are you going to just stand there the entire day? Because I have places to be, so I really need to talk to Clint right now."

"He's busy."

"Oh, is he now? With what?"

"He's talking to Natasha." Steve moved away from the door frame to let Tony inside. He was wondering why Tony just couldn't call Clint. It would have been much easier. "How did you know he was here?"

"He didn't come home last night." Tony said moving towards the sofa. "So, I figured he must be here. I'll just wait here until he's done talking to her. " He sat down on the couch, the whole time avoiding looking Steve in the eyes. Steve didn't blame him for that. No matter how much he tried to hide it, Steve knew that Tony was uncomfortable with what happened last night.

"You sure? I mean, it could take a while." Steve tried to sound as calm as possible. However it was almost impossible. The thought of Tony's lips, and the fact that Tony was wearing insanely tight jeans that hugged his hips and an AC/DC t-shirt that fitted just right, was driving Steve insane.

"I have time."

"Suit yourself." Steve said and walked to the kitchen. Why did Tony have to show up when he was still here? He looked back to see what Tony was doing, but when he turned his head he caught Tony staring at him and quickly looking away when their eyes met. Steve just shook his head and walked to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. He needed to cool down.

Upstairs he could still hear Natasha and Clint walking around and occasionally yelling by Natasha. She was always on edge when she hadn't gotten her coffee. _Of course. That's where Pepper is. _Steve suddenly realized something. Pepper worked at a coffee shop a little down the road, and as far as Steve could remember, today was one of her work days. That's why he hadn't heard from her this morning.

Maybe now was the best time to talk to Tony about yesterday. If they talked now it would be out of the world. It could bring some closure to Steve. He just needed to know why Tony had run away like that. Why his face had turned into a mask of fear. Maybe, just maybe, that could help Steve moving away from all of this. He thought of what other options he might have and the conclusion was none. They couldn't just run around and pretend that nothing happened.

Steve took a deep breath and moved toward the living room where Tony was still sitting. He wasn't doing anything though. He was just sitting there, looking at the TV which wasn't even turned on. Steve was starting to feel a little panicky as he approached Tony. How was this going to go down? He couldn't know if Tony would even talk about it. However, Steve decided that it had to be now, only he wished Pepper had been there to calm him down.

He sat down in one of the chairs a little away from Tony and threw a spare bottle of water that he had brought with him. "Figured you wanted something to drink."

"Thanks." Tony didn't look at Steven. He just took the bottle and continued to stare at the TV. Steve tried to read Tony's expression but he got nothing. Tony looked almost dead as he was sitting on the couch. No sign of emotions whatsoever.

Steve could feel his hands getting sweaty and his heart was pounding faster and faster. He took a deep breath before he began to talk. "Look Tony, we need to talk."

"I don't think we do Rogers." Tony still didn't meet Steve's eyes.

"Tony. You can't just pretend that nothing happened last.."

"Sure I can." Tony started talking before Steve could finish his last sentence. "I don't need to be reminded of it. I just want to forget that it ever happened, okay?"

"Why?" Steve finally asked the question that he didn't really want an answer for; because he knew it could be nothing good.

"Just forget everything that happened last night Rogers. Forget it and move on." Tony stood up from the sofa and walked towards the stairs, but Steve grabbed his arm before Tony could get very far.

"You didn't answer my question _Stark_." He said in with a serious face. Steve didn't care about what Tony would say anymore. He just wanted an answer to his question. Anything would do. He stood up and placed himself in front of Tony.

"You want an answer _Rogers_?" Tony tried to seem bigger than he was but it didn't work. Truth was that Steve was taller than Tony. About a head taller actually.

"I'll give you an answer." He continued. "No actually, you know what? I won't give you an answer because I don't even know what happened. I have no idea how or even why it happened. But whatever happened, it's not something I want to worry about, and I really need to talk to Clint now." Tony freed himself from Steve's grip and ran up the stairs, leaving Steve standing alone in the living room.


	3. But I can't get near you

**A/N: The next chapter is finally ready. I know that it's been a while since I last posted anything, and I'm sorry for that. There has just been so many things on my plate these past months. I started university, so that took up a lot of my time. Then I dropped out of university, which just made me tired and confused. Then I started a job, and the hours are insane, and again that's something that made me tired. But I think I'm getting a hang on this new work, and I'm going to start writing again, so there will hopefully be a new chapter up sooner rather than later.**

**I also wanted to thank all you who have reviewed, favorited, and followed the story. It really means a lot to me. So thank you very much. I hope you enjoy this next chapter,**

**Chapter 3**

**But I can't get near you**

Tony stormed up the stairs determined to find Clint. He didn't want to talk to Steve about last night. Or did he? In all fairness he could just have called Clint, and to be honest he didn't know that Clint was going to be at Natasha's place. It was just a lucky guess, but he somehow felt drawn back to that place. However, he couldn't have known that Steve would be here also.

He hurried down the hall, he went after the noises, and found Natasha straddled on top of Clint, her face covered with something white, Tony really didn't want to know what was. A quick look at Clint and Tony could see that some of the white substance was smeared on his face too.

"Stark!" Natasha cried out. "Have you never heard of knocking?" She quickly jumped off Clint to stand in front of Tony. She punched him in the arm, and though it wasn't too hard, Tony couldn't help but let out a little yelp.

"Sorry. I just need to talk to Clint for a second, and then you two can go back to whatever game you were playing." Tony rubbed the place Natasha had just punched before continuing. "And you might want to remove whatever's left of Clint on your face."

"What?" They cried out in unison. Tony pointed at the white substance on Natasha's cheek and she just laughed at him before she put another punch to his shoulder. "It's yogurt Tony, get your mind out of the gutter" When Tony didn't look convinced she sighed. "Just taste it." She finally said to him.

"That better be yogurt on your face Tasha." He said with widened eyes as he swiped his finger across her cheek. He closed his eyes before putting his finger in his mouth, praying to whatever God was up there that she was telling the truth. When he could finally taste strawberry he opened his eyes again. "Strawberry. Very tasty, but why is it all over your face?"

"Clint threw it at me." She quickly said.

"Did not!" He tried to argue. "She tried to take it from me, and I dropped it."

"On her face?"

"It was an accident." Clint looked at Tony who had raised an eyebrow in disbelieve, then at Natasha who just shook her head, and finally back to Tony again before changing the subject. "What did you want to talk to me about anyway?"

"I changed the lock on our door, and I just wanted to give you the new code." Tony pulled out a piece of paper with some numbers on and gave it to Clint. "I'm going to be out most of the day, so I figured you were going to need it when you got back to the room. Anyway, I'll let you two get back to whatever you were doing." Both nodded at Tony before he went down the hallway again.

When he reached the stairs he was met with the sight of Steve. The man was still standing at the bottom of the stairs where Tony had left him. Steve was just staring back at Tony as he made his way down the stairs. There was something in his eyes that Tony couldn't figure out what was. It wasn't that he looked hurt, he didn't even look angry. Steve was staring blankly at Tony, and he suddenly felt a pang of guild for putting that look on Steve's face. But in all honesty, Steve had been the one who kissed him at midnight, so he should be the guilty one, right?

Tony didn't know what to make of everything. He wasn't going to deny that the kiss had been nice, because it had. It had been soft and filled with so much passion, and Tony couldn't remember the last time he had been kissed like that. _God, why couldn't Rogers just be a bad kisser. If that had been the case everything would have been easier. Right?_ But it wasn't. The kiss reminded him of something he had sworn to forget long ago. Something he wasn't about to let happen again.

He hated the look on Steve's face. Despite popular believe Tony wasn't a bad person. He didn't like to hurt people, but sometimes that just happened. Sometimes it was just inevitable He never means to hurt anyone, but he somehow always screws things up in the end. Tony really wanted to make this thing with Steve right but he had no clue how to. Whenever things became too serious his words would fail and Tony would resort to sarcasm. It was the perfect defense mechanism. He tried to change it, he really did, but it was just too damn difficult.

"Did someone glue you to the spot Rogers?" Tony asked without thinking about it. _Way to put it you idiot._ He walked past Steve, but he was stopped before he could reach the front door. "What do you want?" he asked without turning to look at Steve.

"Please Tony, just hear me out." Steve pleaded and Tony could feel Steve's eyes burning into his neck. He wasn't about to turn around and face the inevitable look of sorrow in Steve's eyes. He stopped walking and waited for the next words from Steve.

"Look I didn't mean to kiss you, okay? It was a mistake, but I'm not going to apologies for what I did." This made Tony turn around to look at Steve. "I'm not sorry for what I did Tony." He wasn't sorry? What was he then? Had he really meant to kiss Tony? Surely he only kissed him because they were both drunk and they were both available. He looked at Steve with a look that Steve apparently found humorous, because before he knew it Steve started to laugh. _Damn he has a gorgeous laugh. Geez Tony, get your act together._

"What the heck is so funny Rogers?" He glared at Steve who stopped laughing. After a couple of seconds Steve started laughing again, however the look in his eyes weren't one of amusement. He looked hurt again. Tony had no idea what to do.

"You're looking scared right now." Steve said between his laughs and wiped the few tears that had fallen away from his cheek. "I never thought I would see the great Tony Stark scared."

Tony looked around the room. He wasn't scared. Not at all. "I'm not scared of you Rogers."

"I never said you were scared of me Tony." Steve shook his head and stared right into Tony's eyes. "You're scared of what happened. The kiss scared you, didn't it?"

Tony didn't know what to say. He didn't want to admit that, what had happened yesterday had scared the hell out of him. "I have _no _idea what you are even talking about." He tried so hard to sound sure of himself, but somehow that sentence came out a little shaky.

Tony tried to walk around Steve but he was cut off by a hand on his bicep. "I mean it Tony. We really need to talk about what happened yesterday." Steve tried to catch Tony's eyes but he just looked down at the wooden floor. If he didn't look Steve in the eyes, he wouldn't have to see the pain and hurt and that would get rid of all the guilt right? Tony hoped that it would because he couldn't afford to have that on his conscience.

"Steve," he hesitated a bit but continued. "I really just think that we should just leave it. What happened yesterday happened and that's that. We really don't need to make it more that it was. It was just a stupid kiss. We were both drunk and that's fine. Let's just forget that this ever happened, okay?" He twisted his arm free and walked out the door before Steve had a chance to say anything.

He almost ran down the stairs to get to the parking garage so he could get away from this place. Get away from what had happened there the night before. All Tony wanted to do was forget that it had happened. He reached his car and locked himself in. Memories and pictures from last night came pouring and everything was still so fresh. The taste of vodka still lingering on Steve's lips as they touched Tony's and the sensation of being so close to a person.

"Damn it, snap out of it Stark!" he slammed his hand down on the control panel. He took a moment to compose himself before starting the car. He needed to go somewhere to think, or better than that. Some place where he didn't have to think at all. A place where all his problems could just ease away from his memory. He drove out of the parking garage heading for a small bar not far away from the apartment.

He drove for about 10 minutes before he reached a little back alley. The place wasn't visible from the street so not a lot of people knew that the place even existed, which was why Tony liked it so much. If anyone managed to find back here they wouldn't necessarily know that there was a bar. The bar looked more like an old brothel than anything else and on the door was a big sign that said 'Closed'. So you would think that it was out of business, right? The sign on the door was an sign that the bar was actually open. Over the door was a big neon sign, that probably once worked but the years hadn't been kind to the place, which had the name of the bar on. Flair.

The first time Tony had been to Flair was about two years ago. One of his friends had hosted a party and Tony had somehow lost his wallet, so he had been forced to walk all the way back to his dorm. He had walked for a while when he made the wrong turn and ended up in a back alley. It was pretty dark and the only light was coming from a small building. At that point Tony had been tired of walking, and it had been pointless to try to find his way home in the dark so he decided to check out the small building in front of him. He stayed at Flair the entire night talking to Dominic, who told Tony that he was always welcome. So he kept coming back every time he needed a distraction, and today was definitely one of those times.

As Tony entered Flair he was met with the familiar sound of Dominic, the bar owner, yelling at the TV. He couldn't make out much of what Dominic was yelling, but he knew the man well enough to know that he was probably watching wrestling or boxing. There were quite a few people at Flair already, even though it was still early. A few of the regular customers were sitting at the bar nursing their beer and not paying any attention to the loud TV. There was a faint sound of music playing in the background. It was some strange playlist that Dominic had made ages ago and it included all the best music from the 60's and 70's. At least according to Dominic.

There was something about Flair that made it feel like home. From the moment he sat foot in the bar Tony had always felt welcome. The regular costumers were always friendly and they went out of their way to make newcomers feel like they belonged.

"Damn it boy, get up for Christ's sake." Dominic yelled at the TV as Tony took a stool by the bar.

"You know he is going to win, right?" Tony laughed when Dominic glared at him. "Sorry Dom, but you've watched that match one too many times already." Tony finally had time to really look at the TV. Dominic was watching a wrestling match between Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat for the millionth time.

"I know Tony, but it's so god damn intense, you know?" He handed Tony a beer and turned the volume down a bit so they could talk. That was the thing about Dominic, he always took time to talk to his costumers, but Tony was sure that Dominic had a soft spot for him. "You look like hell by the way." Dominic said with a wide grin on his face. That was something Tony liked about the man. He wouldn't sugar coat anything.

"I didn't sleep all that well." Tony took a sip of his beer before continuing. "It was a long night."

"Do I want to know?"

"Nope, and I wouldn't tell you anyway, Dom."

"Fair enough." Dominic turned towards the TV and turned the volume up again. "Just know that you will always have a stool right here," he said and pointed at where Tony was sitting. "And I will always be here listening to whatever crazy story you want to tell." And with that Dominic went back to yell at the TV.

Tony shook his head at Dominic and took another sip at the beer before scanning the bar for a familiar face. He spotted a few people at the pool table who had been there the week before, but beside them he didn't know anyone. It wasn't that strange. He was usually at the bar at night, so he didn't really know what kind of people came when the sun was still up.

Just as he had concluded that there really wasn't anyone he knew that well the front door opened. In walked a tall man, about as tall as Steve, with slicked back black hair and piercing eyes. As soon as he spotted Tony he walked towards him. _Of course he had to show up now. Could this day get any better?_ Tony turned to face the bar once again hoping that he would get the idea and leave him alone, but of course he wasn't that lucky.

"Just the man I wanted to see." A hand was placed on Tony's shoulders and out of the corner of his eye he could see the man sitting down beside him.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure Mr. Laufeyson?"

"I was wondering where you disappeared to last night." Loki ordered a beer for himself before continuing. "I thought you stood me up. I must admit I was a little hurt."

"Don't be like that Loki." It came out a little harsher than he had wanted it to. They had agreed to meet up after Natasha's party. The party usually ended right after midnight because people decided to take the party elsewhere. Tony was supposed to meet Loki at Flair like the year before. However, the kiss happened and Tony forgot about his deal with Loki. "I just forgot, okay? It's not that big of a deal anyway."

Loki just shook his head at him before replying. "Tony, you're one of my best friends. Hell, you are one of the few people who can put up with me for more than five minutes. Thor said he saw you running out of Natasha's apartment like it was on fire. I was worried about you, and I don't do worry."

It was true. Loki didn't like to worry about other people, he had once told Tony, all though Tony had no idea why that even was. It wasn't that they would sit and talk about emotions, but Tony knew that when he needed to talk, Loki would be there. They had become each other's emotional anchor of some sorts.

They had initially bonded back in high school over their mutual love for mischief. Loki would talk hours about tricking his brother into doing various strange things, while Tony had talked about the times in high school where he would mess with the alarm systems or the computers.

"I know you don't want to worry, and I don't expect you to do so. I just had a rough night that's all." he tried to look apologetic but he knew that it wouldn't work. Loki knew him well enough to know that Tony didn't do apologies. "I'll make it up to you at some point."

"What happened?"

"I mean, it's not like I was planning on ditching you. It just sort of happened."

"Tony you're avoiding the question. What happened?" Loki said firmly

"Promise me that you won't freak?" Loki nodded and took another sip of his beer. "I kissed Steve last night. Well actually he kissed me but I kissed him back."

Loki's eyes narrowed and he looked like he was thinking about what Tony had just told him. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again.

_Great he is totally going to freak now. I knew I shouldn't have told him. Damn it!_

"Who's Steve?" Loki looked puzzled. Did he really not know who the hell Steve was? Steve was sharing a room with his brother for heaven's sake.

"Rogers!" Tony yelled at him and Loki's eyes widened. He didn't know if it was because of the yelling or because he was in a state of shock. Some of the other people at the bar had turned towards them trying to figure out what all the yelling was for and Dominic had paused the match. For once in his life Tony didn't want all the attention on him "None of your business people." Tony said and people went back to whatever they were doing. Tony let out a sigh and turned his attention back to Loki.

"Rogers?" Loki said quietly. "My idiot brother's roommate? The star of the football team? Wow Tony that's quite a catch." Loki laughed at Tony's expression. _That's the second time someone has laughed at me today. Damn Stark you're on a roll, huh?_

But what he wasn't doing was freaking out. Loki is just looking at Tony with an amused grin on his face. He didn't even look slightly surprised at what Tony had just said. "You're not freaking out?" It came out more as a question than a statement. It wasn't that Tony would expect him to freak, but the last time he told someone, that he kissed a man, that person freaked out. "Why aren't you freaking out?"

"Do you want me to?" He asked still with a grin on his face.

"No!" Tony answered a little too quickly and a little too loudly. A few people at the bar turned around to look at where the sound came from, but turned to do their own thing when they realized that nothing was really happening. To be honest he knew that Loki wouldn't freak out. He knew about everything that had happened in Tony's past, so this telling him about this shouldn't really be getting to him like that, but it somehow did. "I just.. God, I don't know. I don't know why I expected you to freak, because I know you wouldn't. I just don't know what to make of all of this." Tony gestured widely with his arms as he spoke with the other man.

"How about you just tell me the entire story and don't even think about leaving anything out." and just like that Tony found himself telling Loki the entire story. How he had arrived at the party late because he wanted to change the locks, how he had found himself on the balcony talking with Steve and how he had found himself kissing Steve when midnight had struck. Loki just nodded and didn't say anything while Tony was telling the story. Tony continued talking about how he had found himself in Natasha's apartment trying to avoid Steve's questioning gaze and how he had run away from the place and come here.

After he was done telling the entire story he somehow felt lighter. Loki hadn't said anything yet which worried Tony a little, but he felt lighter none the less. Loki, who had drowned his beer during Tony's story, ordered a new for himself and one for Tony. He accepted the beer and took a sip before looking back at his companion. "Please say something."

"Honey, you really fucked up this time." And there it was. What he had expected him to say but hoped he wouldn't. He knew that running away from Steve on the balcony was a dick move but what else was he supposed to do? He hadn't asked for the kiss or implied that he wanted it one way or another. He got scared and Tony Stark does not do scared. He was suddenly reminded of that one time years ago. That one time he had opened up to someone else, and it hurt. It had hurt so much and Tony tried to act like nothing had happened, but then there he was. Just standing in the doorway of that apartment looking at Tony with those sad eyes. Tony couldn't take it and that's why he drove to 'Flair', but of course Loki had to be there and remind him of what an idiot he was.

He had hoped that being an ass to Steve would make him not wanting to talk about the kiss, but that hadn't really worked out. If not, it seemed to make Steve wanting to talk about the kiss even more.

"Don't you think I know that?" Tony looked down at the floor. "I know I acted like an ass. I know that I shouldn't have just run away from him, but what am I supposed to do? I swore all those years ago that I would never let anything like that happen to me again."

"What are you so afraid of Tony? We aren't in High School anymore and Steve is not Marcus. Not even close. From what I can hear, I think he likes you, I think he really likes you. He wouldn't be trying so eagerly to talk about it if he didn't"

"I can't Loki. I.. I can't."

"Yes you can, and you will. Just think about it, okay? Or at least just talk to him, get it all sorted out. You owe him that at least." Loki downed the last of his beer and turned around on his chair. "Take care Stark, and try. Just try." He walked to the door and left the place.

Tony just sat and looked at where Loki had just sat. He had hoped that coming to 'Flair' would help clear his head, but talking to Loki had just made everything worse. Sure he could try and talk it all out with Steve, but how would that even help? It wasn't as of Tony was looking for a relationship. Was it?

_Damn, coming to Flair was supposed to help me think things through. Maybe help me forget everything. _Tony just drank the last of his beer before putting his money on the table. He paused to look around 'Flair'. This was not the place for thinking right now. Waving a hand in the air he got Dom's attention away from the wrestling match on the TV.

"I'm out Dom." He waved at the older man before walking to the door. "I'll see you around." Dominic just waved back at Tony and turned his attention back to match, which was being won by Ric Flair.

Tony closed the door behind him and walked to his car. He hadn't had that much to drink, so driving shouldn't be too difficult. He needed to get back to campus. Maybe he could get enough peace and quiet to think things through there.

_Just try. What the hell did he even mean by that? It's not like I can just go up to Steve and say "Sorry about freaking out, but the last man I kissed at midnight on New Years ended up breaking my heart and I haven't been the same ever since." Yeah that's a conversation starter alright. _Tony turned on the radio and drowned out the silence, and perhaps his thoughts, as he back drove towards campus. He knew he needed to think about it. Sleeping on it had obviously not helped him the least.

He rushed through the streets of LA and before he knew it, he was in the parking lot on campus. The drive had done nothing for his jumbled mind. Tony locked his car and walked up towards the dorms. He was hoping that Clint was still at Natasha's place. He couldn't take any more lectures about what he had done wrong today.

The walk to his dorm felt longer than usual. Tony was dragging his feet and he was lacking his usual air of superiority. The day wasn't even half way gone and he was already tired, and all he really wanted to do was go back to bed. Nothing had gone like it was supposed to today. He was just going to talk to Clint and if he met Steve he was just going to tell him that they shouldn't talk about anything, and that should have been that. But then he had to meet Loki, and God knows that talks with him never ended well. At least not for Tony.

Tony reached the door to his dorm, typed in the new code, and walked straight for his bed. The room looked just like it had when he had left it this morning. Clint's side of the room was a complete mess. Clint's bed was full of various clothing items, pillows, and blankets. One could almost think that he was trying to make a nest out of it all. While Tony's side was squeaky clean, the bed had been made this morning, and nothing was out-of-place.

"_Just try." _Loki's words were running though Tony's brain when he slumped down on his bed. He couldn't try anything. Nothing good would come out of it. _And why is that? _His brain tried to argue. _You don't know Steve. You can't just shield yourself away from all of this. Give the man a chance Stark. _"But how?" he asked himself out loud. " I'm not sure if I even like him."

"_Just try."_


End file.
